It's funny how certain things become your comfort, your pacifier.
I'm rewatching Curb Your Enthusiasm for the hundredth time. It was my mom's favorite show. There's something about Larry David's character that brings this over all peace to my normally chaotic brain.
It was one of those days that I had to work at reminding myself not to let myself slip into any self pity. Self hatred is the fastest way to losing everything you've ever worked for. Depression is a lifelong "thing" even if you feel like you have a handle on it, you know it's always there. Lingering. Waiting for it to be triggered.
I'm reminded life is not about being happy it's about the rollercoaster of really beautiful amazing, sometimes beautifully haunting moments. You can have depression or any other mental (or physical) illness and still do something for the world.
I'm grateful for how my brain works, even the depression, anxiety too. It's made me who I am. It's made me have a sense of humor, allowed me to be more empathic and caring towards the world around me.
Happiness is just a fleeting moment.
Find fufillment through doing something positive for the world. We need more artists, poets, philosophers, creators in this world.
Fuck money, get bitches.
Scabbed, 12x12" acrylic on card board